Between the Lines

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I have been wanting to talk to you about this but I am writing it now because I feel I am able to organize and convey my thoughts better if I write them down.

I am not sure if you know how much I want to make it to Wenny’s party. I think I have communicated it or at least shown it enough so either you have a different impression of how much it means to me, or you do but you do not want us/me to go - because it is not logistically feasible, or you thinkg I am giving her too much attention, or whatever.

I will understand if it is the latter. And I will stop all thoughts of going if that is the case.

What is killing me is maybe you do not know how much it means to me and that if you knew, maybe you’d consider us or me going early. I feel like this will turn out to be one of those missed “could haves” that I will forever look back on and regret if I do not do anything.

I want to assure you that I am not going after Wenny and she is not going after me. Whatever the relationship she and I can have, we already have.

To be honest, I am not expecting anything from this. The important thing for me was to say what is going on inside of me. I have been debating for days whether to tell you all this and run the risk of you misunderstanding me, or to just hide my emotions and avoid the possibility of you getting hurt.

Please forgive me if I hurt you but believe me, there is really nothing for you to worry about. I hope you understand why I had to do this.